Stay-at-home dads: A rare treasure

I'm off my game.

It's taken me nearly three months to realize I have a stay-at-home dad in my midst.

Most people send their preschoolers on the bus every day, and, even though I live in the next town over, I choose to drive them. Call me a control freak, I don't care. My kids would definitely be the ones to trip and fall down in front of a bus tire.

There are only three (or four) other people at drop-off every day. (I think there's a fourth, but they're always late.)

One, I can only assume by her age, is an older sibling to a preschooler. Dear Lord, please let it be an older sibling.

The other is a lady with a "No Lot Lizards"* sticker on her truck. I still don't know what that means, but I plan to immediately Google it. She wears the same hat that my 4-year-olds do... the one with the dangly poofballs by the ears.

(*I just Googled it... a lot lizard is a prostitute who hangs out at truck stops. The sticker is supposed to discourage solicitation. Which makes me ask all kinds of new questions, since 1) she's a woman, and b) the sticker is on her Suburban.)

And the last, the most important, is the 30-something-year-old father to a girl in Alison's class.

He's there early, waiting for the clock to change over to that magical 12:20, the earliest we can leave our spawn with the teachers. Just like me.

He gets out, quietly heaves his daughter out of the SUV as if the act of dropping off his child is the biggest relief in the world. Just like me.

Then he smiles, says goodbye and waves. He drives away without looking back. Just like me.

I realized something today... he lives in that next town over. Just like me. In fact, he lives four streets away from us.

I saw him today as he pulled into his man-decorated driveway, so I waved and smiled.

I'm planning something, and he doesn't know it yet.

I'm adopting the stay-at-home dad as my new buddy.

You see, I know he's normal. He has all sorts of man props hanging in his garage, and his house is really nice, so obviously he's married and still finds time for man-hobbies. And his wife is cool enough to let him hang that crap on her pretty house. And he's polite and friendly. And there's no sign of a church outing in our friendly future. Seriously, how hard is it to find a NORMAL non-Christian-recruiting, fun, stay-at-home parent in small-town Iowa?

Pretty damn hard.

(On a side note, my friend who will remain anonymous just announced via email that she's leaving her job with no future job plans yet... I might have another buddy on the way - yay!!!)

My diabolical plan started with a wave, and it's going to end with conversations over football and beer and snack trays and how much it sucks to go bald - because I can't possibly keep losing hair at this rate, can I? - and how awesome it is to have three hours without children pulling at every limb. That's way better than what I normally do. Which is: come home, sit at the computer, and debate whether to sit in silence or clean something.

Mwahahaha...